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Beaches are nice, but my sister and I prefer the privacy of an indoor pool.

Beaches are nice, but my sister and I prefer the privacy of an indoor pool.

Sis and I decided not to wait until Christmas to start celebrating.

Sis and I decided not to wait until Christmas to start celebrating.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

The already noisy, cramped house over the holidays hasn't been a problem for me and my sister.

The already noisy, cramped house over the holidays hasn't been a problem for me and my sister.

Given how much she squirts, it's essential my sister stay hydrated.

Given how much she squirts, it's essential my sister stay hydrated.

While her mother works late, my daughter thinks up more interesting ways to pass the time.

While her mother works late, my daughter thinks up more interesting ways to pass the time.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

I don't mind getting lost in the woods with my cousin, as long as our clothes do too.

I don't mind getting lost in the woods with my cousin, as long as our clothes do too.

Mom kept nagging me about when I was getting married, so as a joke, I proposed to her. It turned out better than I expected.

Mom kept nagging me about when I was getting married, so as a joke, I proposed to her. It turned out better than I expected.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Mom said with the money we save on A/C, she'll buy birth control.

Mom said with the money we save on A/C, she'll buy birth control.

I still love putting my head in my big sister's lap while she reads a story.

I still love putting my head in my big sister's lap while she reads a story.

Big sis promised to get me in shape this school year, no matter what it takes.

Big sis promised to get me in shape this school year, no matter what it takes.

I think mom knew what she was doing when she put bro and Aunt Becky in the same room over the holidays.

I think mom knew what she was doing when she put bro and Aunt Becky in the same room over the holidays.

Mom does a wicked Ace Ventura impersonation.

Mom does a wicked Ace Ventura impersonation.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

Every trip to the park with my cousin comes with a happy ending.

Every trip to the park with my cousin comes with a happy ending.

Beaches are nice, but my sister and I prefer the privacy of an indoor pool.

Beaches are nice, but my sister and I prefer the privacy of an indoor pool.

Big sis promised to get me in shape this school year, no matter what it takes.

Big sis promised to get me in shape this school year, no matter what it takes.

I'm diggin' my cousin's rebellious streak.

I'm diggin' my cousin's rebellious streak.

I may only have ten minutes between online classes, but mom makes sure I get the most out of them.

I may only have ten minutes between online classes, but mom makes sure I get the most out of them.

Sis knows I have a sweet tooth.

Sis knows I have a sweet tooth.

Reddit keeps taking down my real M/D posts so I’ll just send y’all the rest if you dm me tonight

Reddit keeps taking down my real M/D posts so I’ll just send y’all the rest if you dm me tonight

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Even in our shallow, inflatable home pool, I think my sister and I will make a few splashes this summer.

Even in our shallow, inflatable home pool, I think my sister and I will make a few splashes this summer.

I fear sis and I will be late to class all year.

I fear sis and I will be late to class all year.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

To my welcome surprise, it only took mom one day of vacation to understand why I booked us a single room.

To my welcome surprise, it only took mom one day of vacation to understand why I booked us a single room.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Through my cousins I learned: twins always take care of each other.

Through my cousins I learned: twins always take care of each other.

I only take long, steamy showers when mom's at home.

I only take long, steamy showers when mom's at home.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

Sis always wanted to be a dancer. I just steered it in a particular direction.

Sis always wanted to be a dancer. I just steered it in a particular direction.

I can't help it, but whenever I see my sister's pretty lips, I want to kiss them.

I can't help it, but whenever I see my sister's pretty lips, I want to kiss them.

Since I started college this year, sis finally agreed to be my Valentine.

Since I started college this year, sis finally agreed to be my Valentine.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

At first, auntie couldn't believe I had spent weeks catfishing her. But after we went through the texts together, the hookup was back on.

At first, auntie couldn't believe I had spent weeks catfishing her. But after we went through the texts together, the hookup was back on.

A sister should look up to her older brother.

A sister should look up to her older brother.

Mom always admired how big I'd gotten.

Mom always admired how big I'd gotten.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

Even when I make my bed in the morning, mom just wants to mess it up again.

Even when I make my bed in the morning, mom just wants to mess it up again.

The best thing my sister said on our trip to Vegas was,

The best thing my sister said on our trip to Vegas was, "Why did you pay for two beds?"

"You're not going to sleep all day cousin, right?"

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

Once I found my long-lost half-sister, I knew I could never tell her the truth.

Once I found my long-lost half-sister, I knew I could never tell her the truth.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

My half-sister usually picks the game we play, but I pick the rules.

My half-sister usually picks the game we play, but I pick the rules.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

Sis was never the sharpest nail in the bin, but I don't mind pounding a little harder.

Sis was never the sharpest nail in the bin, but I don't mind pounding a little harder.

My sister is always angling for more of grandpa's inheritance.

My sister is always angling for more of grandpa's inheritance.

Before even arriving at the first hotel, sis wanted to start bonding on our summer road trip.

Before even arriving at the first hotel, sis wanted to start bonding on our summer road trip.

My sister and I firmly believe that Legalize shouldn't just be about weed.

My sister and I firmly believe that Legalize shouldn't just be about weed.

"No fate but what we make," I replied to my cousin before making my move.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

I may buy her lingerie at every holiday, but I know my sister is still grateful.

I may buy her lingerie at every holiday, but I know my sister is still grateful.

Mom says she's much comfier sitting on my lap these days.

Mom says she's much comfier sitting on my lap these days.

Uncle Tony doesn't just stare at my sister anymore.

Uncle Tony doesn't just stare at my sister anymore.

With dad often on business travel, mom looks to me to keep the home fires burning.

With dad often on business travel, mom looks to me to keep the home fires burning.

The summer cabin rules changed as soon as we heard our parents couldn't make it.

The summer cabin rules changed as soon as we heard our parents couldn't make it.

I'll have to think of more ways to reward my sister's BJ skills, since I'm running out of medals.

I'll have to think of more ways to reward my sister's BJ skills, since I'm running out of medals.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

A sister should look up to her older brother.

A sister should look up to her older brother.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

To my welcome surprise, it only took mom one day of vacation to understand why I booked us a single room.

To my welcome surprise, it only took mom one day of vacation to understand why I booked us a single room.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

Even in our shallow, inflatable home pool, I think my sister and I will make a few splashes this summer.

Even in our shallow, inflatable home pool, I think my sister and I will make a few splashes this summer.

If sis and I are going to be naughty, might as well really go for it.

If sis and I are going to be naughty, might as well really go for it.

When my aunt agreed to let me crash with her, she warned it would be a tight fit.

When my aunt agreed to let me crash with her, she warned it would be a tight fit.

It may be Weird Science, but if I had futuristic technology, I would use it to create the perfect big sister.

It may be Weird Science, but if I had futuristic technology, I would use it to create the perfect big sister.

Time flies in my apartment. So aunty is always in a rush when she leaves.

Time flies in my apartment. So aunty is always in a rush when she leaves.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Since the first time she caught me staring, mom started showering outside more, not less.

Since the first time she caught me staring, mom started showering outside more, not less.

It's cute to see my sister's loser boyfriend clean up after I finish with her.

It's cute to see my sister's loser boyfriend clean up after I finish with her.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Mom always worries when I forget to turn the GoPro off after getting home.

Mom always worries when I forget to turn the GoPro off after getting home.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

It was obvious why mom was squirming so much on my brother's lap in the car. So we pulled over and made them show us.

It was obvious why mom was squirming so much on my brother's lap in the car. So we pulled over and made them show us.

My sister surprised me with two presents for my birthday this year.

My sister surprised me with two presents for my birthday this year.

When mom asked me to break up with my floozy girlfriend, she made a promise in return.

When mom asked me to break up with my floozy girlfriend, she made a promise in return.

I may only have ten minutes between online classes, but mom makes sure I get the most out of them.

I may only have ten minutes between online classes, but mom makes sure I get the most out of them.

I only attend stuffy parties at my Aunt and Uncle's house because my cousin thinks I'm cute.

I only attend stuffy parties at my Aunt and Uncle's house because my cousin thinks I'm cute.

Bath time is way more fun when dad's not around.

Bath time is way more fun when dad's not around.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When mom sees me making plans with girls, she asks: Why go out for hamburger when you've got steak at home?

When mom sees me making plans with girls, she asks: Why go out for hamburger when you've got steak at home?

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

Sis and I decided there's only one way to truly celebrate the summer solstice.

Sis and I decided there's only one way to truly celebrate the summer solstice.

Whenever my sisters ask me to pick between two styles, I always like both.

Whenever my sisters ask me to pick between two styles, I always like both.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

There are no losers in a pillow fight with mom.

There are no losers in a pillow fight with mom.

I wonder if dad will ever realize that it's not food I'm picking out of my teeth at the dinner table.

I wonder if dad will ever realize that it's not food I'm picking out of my teeth at the dinner table.

When my sister and I found the 1970s bed where our parents made us, we decided to recreate the scene.

When my sister and I found the 1970s bed where our parents made us, we decided to recreate the scene.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.