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Hiding all my sister's undies in my room is only half meant as a joke.

Hiding all my sister's undies in my room is only half meant as a joke.

Sis has gotten so desperate, I caught her slobbering on dad while he was still asleep.

Sis has gotten so desperate, I caught her slobbering on dad while he was still asleep.

Through my cousins I learned: twins always take care of each other.

Through my cousins I learned: twins always take care of each other.

Mom has never been shy about showing her affection at home.

Mom has never been shy about showing her affection at home.

"No fate but what we make," I replied to my cousin before making my move.

My mom can be a bit smothering at times, but in a very good way.

My mom can be a bit smothering at times, but in a very good way.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

What mom lacks in hide-and-seek skills, she makes up for elsewhere.

What mom lacks in hide-and-seek skills, she makes up for elsewhere.

When mom got the house in the divorce, we had to celebrate.

When mom got the house in the divorce, we had to celebrate.

Time flies in my apartment. So aunty is always in a rush when she leaves.

Time flies in my apartment. So aunty is always in a rush when she leaves.

To my welcome surprise, it only took mom one day of vacation to understand why I booked us a single room.

To my welcome surprise, it only took mom one day of vacation to understand why I booked us a single room.

I think Aunty JJ and I are both going to enjoy this pool season.

I think Aunty JJ and I are both going to enjoy this pool season.

Since the first time she caught me staring, mom started showering outside more, not less.

Since the first time she caught me staring, mom started showering outside more, not less.

Even in our shallow, inflatable home pool, I think my sister and I will make a few splashes this summer.

Even in our shallow, inflatable home pool, I think my sister and I will make a few splashes this summer.

Together for the holidays, it's great to watch Nana appreciate mom almost as much as I do.

Together for the holidays, it's great to watch Nana appreciate mom almost as much as I do.

Sis and I decided there's only one way to truly celebrate the summer solstice.

Sis and I decided there's only one way to truly celebrate the summer solstice.

When sis gets a little wine in her, she starts feeling very adulty.

When sis gets a little wine in her, she starts feeling very adulty.

I'm diggin' my cousin's rebellious streak.

I'm diggin' my cousin's rebellious streak.

When I realized how handsy my aunt gets when she drinks, I offered to build her a bar.

When I realized how handsy my aunt gets when she drinks, I offered to build her a bar.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

Only my wife and daughter know what I like with my morning coffee. And my wife is out of town.

Only my wife and daughter know what I like with my morning coffee. And my wife is out of town.

I finally got my sister to agree: it's too hot for her black leather.

I finally got my sister to agree: it's too hot for her black leather.

Reddit keeps taking down my real M/D posts so I’ll just send y’all the rest if you dm me tonight

Reddit keeps taking down my real M/D posts so I’ll just send y’all the rest if you dm me tonight

It's always a good sign when mom throws the red silk sheets on.

It's always a good sign when mom throws the red silk sheets on.

Aunty has taught me to appreciate the classics.

Aunty has taught me to appreciate the classics.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

No matter how long my sister can stare at herself in the mirror, I can stare longer.

No matter how long my sister can stare at herself in the mirror, I can stare longer.

While her mother works late, my daughter thinks up more interesting ways to pass the time.

While her mother works late, my daughter thinks up more interesting ways to pass the time.

If sis and I are going to be naughty, might as well really go for it.

If sis and I are going to be naughty, might as well really go for it.

When my sister asked for free guitar lessons, she offered to give a few pointers on my fingering in exchange.

When my sister asked for free guitar lessons, she offered to give a few pointers on my fingering in exchange.

Daddy's little elves are already warming up for Christmas Eve.

Daddy's little elves are already warming up for Christmas Eve.

The fun cousin gets invited over more.

The fun cousin gets invited over more.

Uncle Tony doesn't just stare at my sister anymore.

Uncle Tony doesn't just stare at my sister anymore.

Nosy neighbors keep my sister a little paranoid, but I know how to distract her.

Nosy neighbors keep my sister a little paranoid, but I know how to distract her.

Once I found my long-lost half-sister, I knew I could never tell her the truth.

Once I found my long-lost half-sister, I knew I could never tell her the truth.

With my sister back at home, every day feels like a vacation.

With my sister back at home, every day feels like a vacation.

The years of practice didn't truly pay off until my daughter confessed she was my biggest fan.

The years of practice didn't truly pay off until my daughter confessed she was my biggest fan.

Since mom started crawling into my bed, I shouldn't be surprised at catching my sister crawling into dad's.

Since mom started crawling into my bed, I shouldn't be surprised at catching my sister crawling into dad's.

Mom always worries when I forget to turn the GoPro off after getting home.

Mom always worries when I forget to turn the GoPro off after getting home.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

An obedient daughter is a lifelong joy.

An obedient daughter is a lifelong joy.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

Sis and I decided not to wait until Christmas to start celebrating.

Sis and I decided not to wait until Christmas to start celebrating.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

It feels good to go home again.

It feels good to go home again.

In our house, when one door closes, a bathrobe opens.

In our house, when one door closes, a bathrobe opens.

Grandma says by the time I find the right girl to marry, I'll have had plenty of practice for the wedding night.

Grandma says by the time I find the right girl to marry, I'll have had plenty of practice for the wedding night.

Sometimes, things just come together for a bro and his sis.

Sometimes, things just come together for a bro and his sis.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

My cousin always manages to spice up our family retreats.

My cousin always manages to spice up our family retreats.

I only attend stuffy parties at my Aunt and Uncle's house because my cousin thinks I'm cute.

I only attend stuffy parties at my Aunt and Uncle's house because my cousin thinks I'm cute.

Some family pastimes, learned during the lockdown, will stick around for a long time.

Some family pastimes, learned during the lockdown, will stick around for a long time.

Mom said with the money we save on A/C, she'll buy birth control.

Mom said with the money we save on A/C, she'll buy birth control.

"This is the part where you get undressed too, nephew."

Once I ordered the hotel room after dinner, my sister got the general idea. She just didn't know how far I'd want to take it.

Once I ordered the hotel room after dinner, my sister got the general idea. She just didn't know how far I'd want to take it.

"No fate but what we make," I replied to my cousin before making my move.

When mom declared a month-without-TV rule, she did offer alternatives.

When mom declared a month-without-TV rule, she did offer alternatives.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

When my sister and I went off cherry picking, I just hoped to return with one very special one.

When my sister and I went off cherry picking, I just hoped to return with one very special one.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

With my sister back at home, every day feels like a vacation.

With my sister back at home, every day feels like a vacation.

When it's my daughter saying we need a break from work, she's always right.

When it's my daughter saying we need a break from work, she's always right.

I may only have ten minutes between online classes, but mom makes sure I get the most out of them.

I may only have ten minutes between online classes, but mom makes sure I get the most out of them.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

For safety reasons, Auntie's Christmas party only had one guest this year.

For safety reasons, Auntie's Christmas party only had one guest this year.

Sis makes fun of me for being held back a grade. But she's the one bangin' a high schooler.

Sis makes fun of me for being held back a grade. But she's the one bangin' a high schooler.

Seeing the fall leaves is just an excuse for mom and I to be alone.

Seeing the fall leaves is just an excuse for mom and I to be alone.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

My cousin always manages to spice up our family retreats.

My cousin always manages to spice up our family retreats.

When my sister and I found the 1970s bed where our parents made us, we decided to recreate the scene.

When my sister and I found the 1970s bed where our parents made us, we decided to recreate the scene.

Not many guys can handle my sister. But I love trying.

Not many guys can handle my sister. But I love trying.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

Mom always tried to steer me away from Aunt Jugsy, but some things are inevitable.

Mom always tried to steer me away from Aunt Jugsy, but some things are inevitable.

I wonder if dad will ever realize that it's not food I'm picking out of my teeth at the dinner table.

I wonder if dad will ever realize that it's not food I'm picking out of my teeth at the dinner table.

Only my wife and daughter know what I like with my morning coffee. And my wife is out of town.

Only my wife and daughter know what I like with my morning coffee. And my wife is out of town.

When I confessed to my aunt that I had a thing for redheads, she just replied,

When I confessed to my aunt that I had a thing for redheads, she just replied, "Then what are you waiting for?"

Since mom started crawling into my bed, I shouldn't be surprised at catching my sister crawling into dad's.

Since mom started crawling into my bed, I shouldn't be surprised at catching my sister crawling into dad's.

I think Aunty JJ and I are both going to enjoy this pool season.

I think Aunty JJ and I are both going to enjoy this pool season.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

The summer cabin rules changed as soon as we heard our parents couldn't make it.

The summer cabin rules changed as soon as we heard our parents couldn't make it.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

My sister has decided to wear a mask even at home now, given all the D variants I'm exposing her to.

My sister has decided to wear a mask even at home now, given all the D variants I'm exposing her to.

The time I managed to get my girlfriend and sister naked in the same room, it was hard to focus on my girlfriend.

The time I managed to get my girlfriend and sister naked in the same room, it was hard to focus on my girlfriend.

No matter the reason she tells my mom, aunty has only one thing in mind when she calls me over now.

No matter the reason she tells my mom, aunty has only one thing in mind when she calls me over now.

Mom always admired how big I'd gotten.

Mom always admired how big I'd gotten.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

That look when my sister sees the tent in my pajamas.

That look when my sister sees the tent in my pajamas.

It's hard to say I'm not jealous when dad always refers to my sister as

It's hard to say I'm not jealous when dad always refers to my sister as "sweet lips."

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

While dad is busy watching football every Sunday, I get to score with mom.

While dad is busy watching football every Sunday, I get to score with mom.

My half-sister usually picks the game we play, but I pick the rules.

My half-sister usually picks the game we play, but I pick the rules.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

Once she gave him the go-ahead, my cousin really started feasting on mom.

Once she gave him the go-ahead, my cousin really started feasting on mom.

"This is the part where you get undressed too, nephew."

My sister has decided to wear a mask even at home now, given all the D variants I'm exposing her to.

My sister has decided to wear a mask even at home now, given all the D variants I'm exposing her to.