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Once I found my long-lost half-sister, I knew I could never tell her the truth.

Once I found my long-lost half-sister, I knew I could never tell her the truth.

I only attend stuffy parties at my Aunt and Uncle's house because my cousin thinks I'm cute.

I only attend stuffy parties at my Aunt and Uncle's house because my cousin thinks I'm cute.

I can't help that my sister looks better than any decorations.

I can't help that my sister looks better than any decorations.

When it's my daughter saying we need a break from work, she's always right.

When it's my daughter saying we need a break from work, she's always right.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

Mom surprised me with an early Valentine's Day visit this year.

Mom surprised me with an early Valentine's Day visit this year.

I only take long, steamy showers when mom's at home.

I only take long, steamy showers when mom's at home.

I love back-to-school shopping with my sister.

I love back-to-school shopping with my sister.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

Mom promised me a kiss at our home New Year's party, and I got to pick where.

Mom promised me a kiss at our home New Year's party, and I got to pick where.

Mom always worries when I forget to turn the GoPro off after getting home.

Mom always worries when I forget to turn the GoPro off after getting home.

I love back-to-school shopping with my sister.

I love back-to-school shopping with my sister.

When my half-sister and I play hide-and-go-seek, she only half hides.

When my half-sister and I play hide-and-go-seek, she only half hides.

My sister and I firmly believe that Legalize shouldn't just be about weed.

My sister and I firmly believe that Legalize shouldn't just be about weed.

When my cousin moved to the city, I told her how she could stay at my apartment for free.

When my cousin moved to the city, I told her how she could stay at my apartment for free.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

Only my wife and daughter know what I like with my morning coffee. And my wife is out of town.

Only my wife and daughter know what I like with my morning coffee. And my wife is out of town.

Mamma knows best, are real m/d photos approved here??

Mamma knows best, are real m/d photos approved here??

My half-sister usually picks the game we play, but I pick the rules.

My half-sister usually picks the game we play, but I pick the rules.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

My cousin always manages to spice up our family retreats.

My cousin always manages to spice up our family retreats.

When mom asked me to break up with my floozy girlfriend, she made a promise in return.

When mom asked me to break up with my floozy girlfriend, she made a promise in return.

When I found out why sis and mom take so long in the bathroom, I couldn't blame them.

When I found out why sis and mom take so long in the bathroom, I couldn't blame them.

Reddit keeps taking down my real M/D posts so I’ll just send y’all the rest if you dm me tonight

Reddit keeps taking down my real M/D posts so I’ll just send y’all the rest if you dm me tonight

"No fate but what we make," I replied to my cousin before making my move.

Sis and I decided there's only one way to truly celebrate the summer solstice.

Sis and I decided there's only one way to truly celebrate the summer solstice.

I may buy her lingerie at every holiday, but I know my sister is still grateful.

I may buy her lingerie at every holiday, but I know my sister is still grateful.

There are some dares even I'm surprised my sister will go through with.

There are some dares even I'm surprised my sister will go through with.

Mom's always saying: two is the perfect number of sons.

Mom's always saying: two is the perfect number of sons.

"This is the part where you get undressed too, nephew."

I like my sister's take on the breakfast of champions.

I like my sister's take on the breakfast of champions.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

After a long day, mom always offers a warm place to rest my head.

After a long day, mom always offers a warm place to rest my head.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

Since mom started crawling into my bed, I shouldn't be surprised at catching my sister crawling into dad's.

Since mom started crawling into my bed, I shouldn't be surprised at catching my sister crawling into dad's.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

Every day with my adopted daughter brings its own joys.

Every day with my adopted daughter brings its own joys.

During every family portrait session, there's always one goofy photo. Mom's just changed what she means by

During every family portrait session, there's always one goofy photo. Mom's just changed what she means by "goofy".

When my sister and I went off cherry picking, I just hoped to return with one very special one.

When my sister and I went off cherry picking, I just hoped to return with one very special one.

When I confessed to my aunt that I had a thing for redheads, she just replied,

When I confessed to my aunt that I had a thing for redheads, she just replied, "Then what are you waiting for?"

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

I'm diggin' my cousin's rebellious streak.

I'm diggin' my cousin's rebellious streak.

Every day with my adopted daughter brings its own joys.

Every day with my adopted daughter brings its own joys.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

A sister should look up to her older brother.

A sister should look up to her older brother.

Aunty has taught me to appreciate the classics.

Aunty has taught me to appreciate the classics.

Some family pastimes, learned during the lockdown, will stick around for a long time.

Some family pastimes, learned during the lockdown, will stick around for a long time.

It was obvious why mom was squirming so much on my brother's lap in the car. So we pulled over and made them show us.

It was obvious why mom was squirming so much on my brother's lap in the car. So we pulled over and made them show us.

I wonder if dad will ever realize that it's not food I'm picking out of my teeth at the dinner table.

I wonder if dad will ever realize that it's not food I'm picking out of my teeth at the dinner table.

Already by the second day of our family vacation, aunty had taken note of all my staring.

Already by the second day of our family vacation, aunty had taken note of all my staring.

Sis was never the sharpest nail in the bin, but I don't mind pounding a little harder.

Sis was never the sharpest nail in the bin, but I don't mind pounding a little harder.

After my Harvard acceptance letter arrived, tiger-mommy couldn't hold back.

After my Harvard acceptance letter arrived, tiger-mommy couldn't hold back.

When mom sees me making plans with girls, she asks: Why go out for hamburger when you've got steak at home?

When mom sees me making plans with girls, she asks: Why go out for hamburger when you've got steak at home?

I finally got my sister to agree: it's too hot for her black leather.

I finally got my sister to agree: it's too hot for her black leather.

I don't mind spending most of our boating trips below deck with my aunt.

I don't mind spending most of our boating trips below deck with my aunt.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

When Auntie confessed she was desperate for a baby, I told her we wouldn't need help from the fertility gods.

When Auntie confessed she was desperate for a baby, I told her we wouldn't need help from the fertility gods.

When mom has to wake me up early, she does it in the kindest way.

When mom has to wake me up early, she does it in the kindest way.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

Lakeside isn't as exciting as a beach, but my sister and I still manage to have a good time.

Lakeside isn't as exciting as a beach, but my sister and I still manage to have a good time.

Sis always wanted to be a dancer. I just steered it in a particular direction.

Sis always wanted to be a dancer. I just steered it in a particular direction.

Once I found my long-lost half-sister, I knew I could never tell her the truth.

Once I found my long-lost half-sister, I knew I could never tell her the truth.

Now when I hear mom running a bath, I know it's for the two of us.

Now when I hear mom running a bath, I know it's for the two of us.

My cousin and I love camping. And it's easier to take just the one sleeping bag.

My cousin and I love camping. And it's easier to take just the one sleeping bag.

The problem with ever-escalating dares with my sister is, I'll actually do them.

The problem with ever-escalating dares with my sister is, I'll actually do them.

Already by the second day of our family vacation, aunty had taken note of all my staring.

Already by the second day of our family vacation, aunty had taken note of all my staring.

Before even arriving at the first hotel, sis wanted to start bonding on our summer road trip.

Before even arriving at the first hotel, sis wanted to start bonding on our summer road trip.

Whenever my sisters ask me to pick between two styles, I always like both.

Whenever my sisters ask me to pick between two styles, I always like both.

My nerdy sis was so amazed when I finally beat her at Scrabble, she agreed to a special reward.

My nerdy sis was so amazed when I finally beat her at Scrabble, she agreed to a special reward.

Mom says while the bath is running, she should be cumming.

Mom says while the bath is running, she should be cumming.

Whenever my sisters ask me to pick between two styles, I always like both.

Whenever my sisters ask me to pick between two styles, I always like both.

"No fate but what we make," I replied to my cousin before making my move.

Once she gave him the go-ahead, my cousin really started feasting on mom.

Once she gave him the go-ahead, my cousin really started feasting on mom.

I think Aunty JJ and I are both going to enjoy this pool season.

I think Aunty JJ and I are both going to enjoy this pool season.

When mom got the house in the divorce, we had to celebrate.

When mom got the house in the divorce, we had to celebrate.

Sometimes, things just come together for a bro and his sis.

Sometimes, things just come together for a bro and his sis.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

It feels good to go home again.

It feels good to go home again.

While her mother works late, my daughter thinks up more interesting ways to pass the time.

While her mother works late, my daughter thinks up more interesting ways to pass the time.

The fun cousin gets invited over more.

The fun cousin gets invited over more.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

Even in our shallow, inflatable home pool, I think my sister and I will make a few splashes this summer.

Even in our shallow, inflatable home pool, I think my sister and I will make a few splashes this summer.

Once I told her it was for a photography project, mom was more willing to pose the way I had dreamed.

Once I told her it was for a photography project, mom was more willing to pose the way I had dreamed.

Whenever mom catches my sister acting like a brat to me, she's forced to apologize properly.

Whenever mom catches my sister acting like a brat to me, she's forced to apologize properly.

Mom's always saying: two is the perfect number of sons.

Mom's always saying: two is the perfect number of sons.

"This is the part where you get undressed too, nephew."

To my welcome surprise, it only took mom one day of vacation to understand why I booked us a single room.

To my welcome surprise, it only took mom one day of vacation to understand why I booked us a single room.

Together for the holidays, it's great to watch Nana appreciate mom almost as much as I do.

Together for the holidays, it's great to watch Nana appreciate mom almost as much as I do.

No matter the reason she tells my mom, aunty has only one thing in mind when she calls me over now.

No matter the reason she tells my mom, aunty has only one thing in mind when she calls me over now.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

After a long day, mom always offers a warm place to rest my head.

After a long day, mom always offers a warm place to rest my head.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

With my sister back at home, every day feels like a vacation.

With my sister back at home, every day feels like a vacation.

If sis and I are going to be naughty, might as well really go for it.

If sis and I are going to be naughty, might as well really go for it.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Sometimes, things just come together for a bro and his sis.

Sometimes, things just come together for a bro and his sis.

Mom would feel guilty about what we get up to together, but a few spanks seem to take care of it.

Mom would feel guilty about what we get up to together, but a few spanks seem to take care of it.

Not many guys can handle my sister. But I love trying.

Not many guys can handle my sister. But I love trying.