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"No fate but what we make," I replied to my cousin before making my move.

Bath time is way more fun when dad's not around.

Bath time is way more fun when dad's not around.

Big sis promised to get me in shape this school year, no matter what it takes.

Big sis promised to get me in shape this school year, no matter what it takes.

When it's my daughter saying we need a break from work, she's always right.

When it's my daughter saying we need a break from work, she's always right.

Before I take Auntie out to dinner, I make sure she's ready for what follows.

Before I take Auntie out to dinner, I make sure she's ready for what follows.

I can't help it, but whenever I see my sister's pretty lips, I want to kiss them.

I can't help it, but whenever I see my sister's pretty lips, I want to kiss them.

I didn't mind choosing a

I didn't mind choosing a "nerdy instrument" if it meant practicing with my big sister.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

Recently, I walked in on what it really means to be the favorite nephew.

Recently, I walked in on what it really means to be the favorite nephew.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

No matter the reason she tells my mom, aunty has only one thing in mind when she calls me over now.

No matter the reason she tells my mom, aunty has only one thing in mind when she calls me over now.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

"You're not going to sleep all day cousin, right?"

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

Mom's always saying: two is the perfect number of sons.

Mom's always saying: two is the perfect number of sons.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

Jeggings are an abomination, so I'm always asking to take them off my sister.

Jeggings are an abomination, so I'm always asking to take them off my sister.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

Mom would feel guilty about what we get up to together, but a few spanks seem to take care of it.

Mom would feel guilty about what we get up to together, but a few spanks seem to take care of it.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

"This is the part where you get undressed too, nephew."

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

I'm already glad my aunt came to visit for the summer.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

When sis asks me to join her live streams, it's as co-performer.

When sis asks me to join her live streams, it's as co-performer.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

Already by the second day of our family vacation, aunty had taken note of all my staring.

Already by the second day of our family vacation, aunty had taken note of all my staring.

It takes mom forever to get dressed in the morning. Especially when I'm convincing her not to.

It takes mom forever to get dressed in the morning. Especially when I'm convincing her not to.

Whenever I bring a new girlfriend home, sis has to make the ultimate power move.

Whenever I bring a new girlfriend home, sis has to make the ultimate power move.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

As the days get cooler, I'm always ready to keep my sister warm.

As the days get cooler, I'm always ready to keep my sister warm.

When mom has to wake me up early, she does it in the kindest way.

When mom has to wake me up early, she does it in the kindest way.

When my sister and I went off cherry picking, I just hoped to return with one very special one.

When my sister and I went off cherry picking, I just hoped to return with one very special one.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

My cousin and I love camping. And it's easier to take just the one sleeping bag.

My cousin and I love camping. And it's easier to take just the one sleeping bag.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

It was obvious why mom was squirming so much on my brother's lap in the car. So we pulled over and made them show us.

It was obvious why mom was squirming so much on my brother's lap in the car. So we pulled over and made them show us.

If sis and I are going to be naughty, might as well really go for it.

If sis and I are going to be naughty, might as well really go for it.

My parents never seem so proud of me as when I'm balls deep in mom.

My parents never seem so proud of me as when I'm balls deep in mom.

In our house, when one door closes, a bathrobe opens.

In our house, when one door closes, a bathrobe opens.

Beaches are nice, but my sister and I prefer the privacy of an indoor pool.

Beaches are nice, but my sister and I prefer the privacy of an indoor pool.

When mom sees me making plans with girls, she asks: Why go out for hamburger when you've got steak at home?

When mom sees me making plans with girls, she asks: Why go out for hamburger when you've got steak at home?

Now when I hear mom running a bath, I know it's for the two of us.

Now when I hear mom running a bath, I know it's for the two of us.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

Together for the holidays, it's great to watch Nana appreciate mom almost as much as I do.

Together for the holidays, it's great to watch Nana appreciate mom almost as much as I do.

Since the first time she caught me staring, mom started showering outside more, not less.

Since the first time she caught me staring, mom started showering outside more, not less.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

Daddy's little elves are already warming up for Christmas Eve.

Daddy's little elves are already warming up for Christmas Eve.

My cousin always manages to spice up our family retreats.

My cousin always manages to spice up our family retreats.

No matter how long my sister can stare at herself in the mirror, I can stare longer.

No matter how long my sister can stare at herself in the mirror, I can stare longer.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Every day on Bali with my sister feels like heaven.

Mom surprised me with an early Valentine's Day visit this year.

Mom surprised me with an early Valentine's Day visit this year.

In our house, when one door closes, a bathrobe opens.

In our house, when one door closes, a bathrobe opens.

This year, mom promised we could have a very white Christmas.

This year, mom promised we could have a very white Christmas.

When I confessed to my aunt that I had a thing for redheads, she just replied,

When I confessed to my aunt that I had a thing for redheads, she just replied, "Then what are you waiting for?"

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

I've always thought of aunty as a big ball of fun.

I've always thought of aunty as a big ball of fun.

Already by the second day of our family vacation, aunty had taken note of all my staring.

Already by the second day of our family vacation, aunty had taken note of all my staring.

The years of practice didn't truly pay off until my daughter confessed she was my biggest fan.

The years of practice didn't truly pay off until my daughter confessed she was my biggest fan.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

Mom decided to make this Christmas unforgettable for both of us.

Mom decided to make this Christmas unforgettable for both of us.

My sister is always angling for more of grandpa's inheritance.

My sister is always angling for more of grandpa's inheritance.

My sister has decided to wear a mask even at home now, given all the D variants I'm exposing her to.

My sister has decided to wear a mask even at home now, given all the D variants I'm exposing her to.

When I take mom out for a long ride, we don't drive as far as dad thinks.

When I take mom out for a long ride, we don't drive as far as dad thinks.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

The summer cabin rules changed as soon as we heard our parents couldn't make it.

The summer cabin rules changed as soon as we heard our parents couldn't make it.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

When my half-sister and I play hide-and-go-seek, she only half hides.

When my half-sister and I play hide-and-go-seek, she only half hides.

The summer cabin rules changed as soon as we heard our parents couldn't make it.

The summer cabin rules changed as soon as we heard our parents couldn't make it.

Once we grew up, sis and I pushed the twin beds together.

Once we grew up, sis and I pushed the twin beds together.

That look when my sister sees the tent in my pajamas.

That look when my sister sees the tent in my pajamas.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

It takes mom forever to get dressed in the morning. Especially when I'm convincing her not to.

It takes mom forever to get dressed in the morning. Especially when I'm convincing her not to.

When my half-sister and I play hide-and-go-seek, she only half hides.

When my half-sister and I play hide-and-go-seek, she only half hides.

Beaches are nice, but my sister and I prefer the privacy of an indoor pool.

Beaches are nice, but my sister and I prefer the privacy of an indoor pool.

Only my wife and daughter know what I like with my morning coffee. And my wife is out of town.

Only my wife and daughter know what I like with my morning coffee. And my wife is out of town.

If sis and I are going to be naughty, might as well really go for it.

If sis and I are going to be naughty, might as well really go for it.

It's always a good sign when mom throws the red silk sheets on.

It's always a good sign when mom throws the red silk sheets on.

I've found that having money helps me have my sister.

I've found that having money helps me have my sister.

Even in our shallow, inflatable home pool, I think my sister and I will make a few splashes this summer.

Even in our shallow, inflatable home pool, I think my sister and I will make a few splashes this summer.

"This is the part where you get undressed too, nephew."

I may only have ten minutes between online classes, but mom makes sure I get the most out of them.

I may only have ten minutes between online classes, but mom makes sure I get the most out of them.

In the end, it wasn't hard for my daughter to convince me that she's a grown woman now.

In the end, it wasn't hard for my daughter to convince me that she's a grown woman now.

I let my daughter do all the decorating, and she lets me do other things.

I let my daughter do all the decorating, and she lets me do other things.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

Mamma knows best, are real m/d photos approved here??

Mamma knows best, are real m/d photos approved here??

Once I found my long-lost half-sister, I knew I could never tell her the truth.

Once I found my long-lost half-sister, I knew I could never tell her the truth.

Since mom started crawling into my bed, I shouldn't be surprised at catching my sister crawling into dad's.

Since mom started crawling into my bed, I shouldn't be surprised at catching my sister crawling into dad's.

When sis has a long day at school, I'm always ready as a stress reliever.

When sis has a long day at school, I'm always ready as a stress reliever.

I like my sister's take on the breakfast of champions.

I like my sister's take on the breakfast of champions.

Mom does a wicked Ace Ventura impersonation.

Mom does a wicked Ace Ventura impersonation.