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It's hard to say I'm not jealous when dad always refers to my sister as

It's hard to say I'm not jealous when dad always refers to my sister as "sweet lips."

"This is the part where you get undressed too, nephew."

It feels good to go home again.

It feels good to go home again.

Convincing mom to do a boudoir photo shoot is only the beginning.

Convincing mom to do a boudoir photo shoot is only the beginning.

Whenever my sisters ask me to pick between two styles, I always like both.

Whenever my sisters ask me to pick between two styles, I always like both.

That look when my sister sees the tent in my pajamas.

That look when my sister sees the tent in my pajamas.

Sis was never the sharpest nail in the bin, but I don't mind pounding a little harder.

Sis was never the sharpest nail in the bin, but I don't mind pounding a little harder.

Mom promised me a kiss at our home New Year's party, and I got to pick where.

Mom promised me a kiss at our home New Year's party, and I got to pick where.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

When I caught sis stealing my lotion, I insisted on applying it to her myself.

When I caught sis stealing my lotion, I insisted on applying it to her myself.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

I wonder if dad will ever realize that it's not food I'm picking out of my teeth at the dinner table.

I wonder if dad will ever realize that it's not food I'm picking out of my teeth at the dinner table.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

When I finally arranged to meet my long-lost half-sister in Vietnam, I had no idea about her line of work. After I found out her truth, I couldn't confess mine until I ran out of money.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

When mom has to wake me up early, she does it in the kindest way.

When mom has to wake me up early, she does it in the kindest way.

Whenever my sisters ask me to pick between two styles, I always like both.

Whenever my sisters ask me to pick between two styles, I always like both.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

Bath time is way more fun when dad's not around.

Bath time is way more fun when dad's not around.

I think mom knew what she was doing when she put bro and Aunt Becky in the same room over the holidays.

I think mom knew what she was doing when she put bro and Aunt Becky in the same room over the holidays.

When I take mom out for a long ride, we don't drive as far as dad thinks.

When I take mom out for a long ride, we don't drive as far as dad thinks.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

Uncle Tony doesn't just stare at my sister anymore.

Uncle Tony doesn't just stare at my sister anymore.

In our house, when one door closes, a bathrobe opens.

In our house, when one door closes, a bathrobe opens.

When sis asks me for a foot massage, we both know it won't end there.

When sis asks me for a foot massage, we both know it won't end there.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Mom likes it when I hug her from the back, too.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

My aunt has a thing for old-fashioned cocktails, old-fashioned décor, and old-fashioned inbreeding.

Time flies in my apartment. So aunty is always in a rush when she leaves.

Time flies in my apartment. So aunty is always in a rush when she leaves.

I didn't mind choosing a

I didn't mind choosing a "nerdy instrument" if it meant practicing with my big sister.

Every day with my adopted daughter brings its own joys.

Every day with my adopted daughter brings its own joys.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

At the last pool party of the summer, I finally convinced my sister to FreeTheNipple.

It takes mom forever to get dressed in the morning. Especially when I'm convincing her not to.

It takes mom forever to get dressed in the morning. Especially when I'm convincing her not to.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

With dad often on business travel, mom looks to me to keep the home fires burning.

With dad often on business travel, mom looks to me to keep the home fires burning.

This year, mom promised we could have a very white Christmas.

This year, mom promised we could have a very white Christmas.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

The Tuscan sun looks good on my sister.

Since I started college this year, sis finally agreed to be my Valentine.

Since I started college this year, sis finally agreed to be my Valentine.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

Being known as the fun uncle just gets more rewarding over time.

Being known as the fun uncle just gets more rewarding over time.

I don't mind spending most of our boating trips below deck with my aunt.

I don't mind spending most of our boating trips below deck with my aunt.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

Fewer questions arise when I visit my cousin through the garden entrance.

As soon as Aunt Kacy got out of lockup, she called me for help reacclimating.

As soon as Aunt Kacy got out of lockup, she called me for help reacclimating.

Beaches are nice, but my sister and I prefer the privacy of an indoor pool.

Beaches are nice, but my sister and I prefer the privacy of an indoor pool.

Mom would feel guilty about what we get up to together, but a few spanks seem to take care of it.

Mom would feel guilty about what we get up to together, but a few spanks seem to take care of it.

Mom does a wicked Ace Ventura impersonation.

Mom does a wicked Ace Ventura impersonation.

"No fate but what we make," I replied to my cousin before making my move.

A sister should look up to her older brother.

A sister should look up to her older brother.

While her mother works late, my daughter thinks up more interesting ways to pass the time.

While her mother works late, my daughter thinks up more interesting ways to pass the time.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

Breakfast is when my sister starts to tease me for the day.

Mom says she's much comfier sitting on my lap these days.

Mom says she's much comfier sitting on my lap these days.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

In the end, it wasn't hard for my daughter to convince me that she's a grown woman now.

In the end, it wasn't hard for my daughter to convince me that she's a grown woman now.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

I've been getting good vibes from my cousin all summer.

Since mom started crawling into my bed, I shouldn't be surprised at catching my sister crawling into dad's.

Since mom started crawling into my bed, I shouldn't be surprised at catching my sister crawling into dad's.

Nosy neighbors keep my sister a little paranoid, but I know how to distract her.

Nosy neighbors keep my sister a little paranoid, but I know how to distract her.

An obedient daughter is a lifelong joy.

An obedient daughter is a lifelong joy.

She may have been naughty this year, but Santa won't be withholding from my daughter.

She may have been naughty this year, but Santa won't be withholding from my daughter.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

While my sister rushes in the morning, I just enjoy the view.

The problem with ever-escalating dares with my sister is, I'll actually do them.

The problem with ever-escalating dares with my sister is, I'll actually do them.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

When my daughter wants to spend the night in my room, she knows PJs won't cut it.

Aunty feels a little embarrassed about having to crash in my tiny apartment. And what I ask for in return.

Aunty feels a little embarrassed about having to crash in my tiny apartment. And what I ask for in return.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

I don't mind getting lost in the woods with my cousin, as long as our clothes do too.

I don't mind getting lost in the woods with my cousin, as long as our clothes do too.

I may buy her lingerie at every holiday, but I know my sister is still grateful.

I may buy her lingerie at every holiday, but I know my sister is still grateful.

Mom always tried to steer me away from Aunt Jugsy, but some things are inevitable.

Mom always tried to steer me away from Aunt Jugsy, but some things are inevitable.

Every day with my adopted daughter brings its own joys.

Every day with my adopted daughter brings its own joys.

My cousin always manages to spice up our family retreats.

My cousin always manages to spice up our family retreats.

This year, my princess gets to share daddy's bed.

This year, my princess gets to share daddy's bed.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

As we got older, my sister and I replaced Saturday morning cartoons with another tradition.

It takes mom forever to get dressed in the morning. Especially when I'm convincing her not to.

It takes mom forever to get dressed in the morning. Especially when I'm convincing her not to.

There was one contest I thought sis could never beat me at.

There was one contest I thought sis could never beat me at.

I'm diggin' my cousin's rebellious streak.

I'm diggin' my cousin's rebellious streak.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

After salsa lessons, aunty offered to show me the horizontal tango.

I may only have ten minutes between online classes, but mom makes sure I get the most out of them.

I may only have ten minutes between online classes, but mom makes sure I get the most out of them.

The fun cousin gets invited over more.

The fun cousin gets invited over more.

Cozy pillows were hardly the best gift I got from mom on my eighteenth birthday.

Cozy pillows were hardly the best gift I got from mom on my eighteenth birthday.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

As the temperatures drop, mom needs even more help staying warm by the pool.

Recently, I walked in on what it really means to be the favorite nephew.

Recently, I walked in on what it really means to be the favorite nephew.

I only take long, steamy showers when mom's at home.

I only take long, steamy showers when mom's at home.

For safety reasons, Auntie's Christmas party only had one guest this year.

For safety reasons, Auntie's Christmas party only had one guest this year.

Uncle Tony doesn't just stare at my sister anymore.

Uncle Tony doesn't just stare at my sister anymore.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

To keep me from staring awkwardly at her volleyball matches, sis knows we have to pre-game first.

As long as I keep up the artsy veneer, mom lets me photograph her any way I want.

As long as I keep up the artsy veneer, mom lets me photograph her any way I want.

In case my sister doesn't believe how NYE really ended, I can prove it.

In case my sister doesn't believe how NYE really ended, I can prove it.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

When sis signed up for the class I'm TA'ing, she knew just what extra assignments to ask for.

"This is the part where you get undressed too, nephew."

After a long day, mom always offers a warm place to rest my head.

After a long day, mom always offers a warm place to rest my head.

I can't help it, but whenever I see my sister's pretty lips, I want to kiss them.

I can't help it, but whenever I see my sister's pretty lips, I want to kiss them.

Aunty says we're making a lot of progress in my therapy sessions.

Aunty says we're making a lot of progress in my therapy sessions.

Mom said with the money we save on A/C, she'll buy birth control.

Mom said with the money we save on A/C, she'll buy birth control.

No matter the reason she tells my mom, aunty has only one thing in mind when she calls me over now.

No matter the reason she tells my mom, aunty has only one thing in mind when she calls me over now.

I can only imagine the mix of anxiousness and excitement when mom told my virgin brother about his birthday present this year.

I can only imagine the mix of anxiousness and excitement when mom told my virgin brother about his birthday present this year.

An obedient daughter is a lifelong joy.

An obedient daughter is a lifelong joy.